Mignon - The Restoration of a 1979 Bedford Camper

Mignon II is leaking. From the area we spent a week working on. I suspect the hammering and assorted cussing has cracked the seal on the roof vent at the over-cab bed.

All the new roof has to come down, the new timber frames.. the lot. Just to squirt some sealant around the roof vent.

To say I am mildly miffed is an understatement. However, these things are sent to try us. I wave a couple of fingers in the roof's general direction.

Sadly, the plan to have Mignon ready for New Year is a no-go. My airline interpreted 'I would like New Year off' as 'please give me the longest series of flights I could possibly get over New Year' and my colleagues with children work over Christmas and get New Year off. I'm sure if I saw it from the planners' point of view I would understand, but how on earth you can give 20 people exactly the opposite of what they wanted as opposed to giving 20 people what they wanted.... surely it must balance out somewhere.

Bleh. Anyway...

Just as well - poor old Mignon II is wetter than a cat's mouth at the first crack of a tuna can, and I don't have the time to fix it until next year.

I also discovered, only last night, that one of my cousins is a skilled restorer of VW camper vans himself. Nods to self slowly... !

Yep, that's right. The old van is starting to look as if someone could live in it! Most of the wallpaper is up (although Magnox has got to spend some time with the roof boards). It's a light blue - there is very little choice for bathroom/kitchen papers that don't have fish or carrots on them.

This is definitely a Summer project, not ideal doing it in a Scottish near-winter where the hours of darkenss are ever encroaching! But a good light and heater and the job was done. I could go on about the had work that Orangeblossom has done on the van so far - so I will! All hail the Orangeblossom!  I have to finish the wallpaper off in the shower room and ceiling and I have never done that before. Should be a laugh.

So here is Pippin singing the praises of the new wallpaper (insert your own caption if you want). Him and Polo were curiously absent whilst there was work to be done:

So you want to see a before picture? OK then:

An improvement, wouldn't you say?

And how long do you think Magnox is going to have his tools as neat as this? Answers on a postcard...

Ha! That'll teach you perverted Google searchers.

Old knobs

New knobs

Hello, Mrs Magnox here again. Yes, the lining paper is going up and is making a big difference to the interior. However, it is tricky to put up the round windows and shelves. Well done Orangeblossom! Here is a before and after photo. The wallpaper (which is going on tomorrow) will make a huge difference.

I'll leave the honour of posting the 'after' pictures to my wife who is doing all the hard work at the moment. I've just watched an elephant walk past me with a tree trunk in its errr trunk, which is not something you usually see in the early evening hours...

Just an idea of what we (didn't realise !) were taking on. Click on any to enlarge.

I have a suspicion I will not be allowed to do a project like this again... either that, or I'll have to learn how to sew and wallpaper !

Yup, it was worse than we thought. At some point the seals between the camper body walls and roof had given up the will to live and had let in water. It's been properly fixed with a very nice fibreglass repair, but the extent of the damage was not evident until we had pulled the roof and wall boards away from the joists.

Old campers and caravans were built in a very similar fashion to timber-framed houses, and the water had spread to many of the joists, and then worked its way down the walls. End of wood.

5 days of stripping wood you could put your finger through, bench-sawing, cutting, grinding, shaping, filling, glueing... it's not difficult, but takes days of work. We also discovered that one of the shower walls was so rotten, the slightest slip would have sent you through a splintering, rotten, horribly-papered wall of gangrene nastiness. Solution - hit with hammer until wall is no more. Replace.

We don't have the time to do this properly and there are still areas which are not great. The real solution is to strip the interior completely and start again with everything from scratch - new cupboards, units, everything, but this will last another 10 years. I hope !

Front brakes still don't work properly either...

More photos to come when I'm back from a tough week on an Indian beach. We work hard you know....

This is Mrs Magnox here, with my first Mignon post. Orangeblossom has come up to help with the 'cosmetics' of the van interior this week and things have moved along...

On close inspection some areas of the roof were quite damp (well, the timbers were more like sponge) so they had to be taken down and new mdf put up (that was a bugger of a job to hold that in place over the top of the cab). I'm sure Magnox will fill you in on that (however, a 10 day holiday work trip to India beckoned for Magnox, so we are getting stuck in).

But I often wonder - who are the people who go into Homebase or B&Q or whatever, and think 'No, I won't get that lovely pattern or colour, I'll buy the most disgusting and hideous wallpaper/paint/material that I find. That will be just perfect!'. We have found some very worrying choices whilst stripping off the outer layer of wallpaper.

So we are being a bit more tasteful with our decor, a nice blue with a lovely navy blue tartan for the cushions. Pa will like it, and here is Orangeblossom up to some stitchery* in the dining room:

* a craft I do not have and never will possess. All hail the Orangeblossom.

An invaluable guide for using a Haynes manual:

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).

Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out !"

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride in it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "**" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.

HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE:

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.

PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

Hot water at last. Replaced a dodgy thermocouple and, more importantly, swore at it constantly for a couple of hours. It got the message...

Started some serious work on Mignon the Camper this afternoon. None of the gas-powered facilities were working, but a blast through the lines with a tyre-inflator blew out the dead wasps, bugs, grass and other assorted rubbish. The heater, the cooker and the oven now all work perfectly.

Shame the same can't be said about the water heater which is defeating my every effort to understand it. Time to pop over to my friendly Bedford Owner's Club website and ask those-who-know. If you ever buy anything like this, it really is worth the small amount of time and money needed to join a club.

Here's Mignon with a set of newly acquired blinds, oil and filter for a service and the leisure battery. Leisure batteries (I hadn't heard the term until a few months ago myself !) are used to power stereos, TVs, etc separately from the main car battery to avoid draining it. This second battery needs a charging system which can be quite complex, but I've invested in a 'Zig' unit which will take care of it for me as long as I wire it up properly.

(Click on any pic to enlarge)

So, I set about cleaning out the cupboard the Zig unit is going to be mounted in. Old campers do tend to turn up a lot of stuff, some good, some rubbish, some just plain odd.

On the table you can see the Zig. It's the gold-coloured thingie with lots of switches to place in the wrong position and drain every battery, leaving you stranded. Time to write an airline-style checklist methinks ! Plus, my Dad loves rituals and checklists. He'll follow it slavishly, so I'd better get it right !

But... what's that, lurking next to an old can of paint, some underlay, a half-drunk bottle of mineral water and a brush ??

Captions on a post-card please ! They look new, but I wasn't going to investigate any further.  And anyway, with a quick wash, they'll be ready for Gil to wear.....

Battery went in ok, but it looks like some painting needs to be done !

And the air-con was installed. Overall, a good day. Enhanced dramatically by the discovery of used ladies underwear.